Chai Toast and Khari

An extremely self-centered person who has an exaggerated sense of self-importance is how Google describes a narcissist. I always dreaded this term so much that I think I used to behave like a complete opposite, a self-destructive person with only mental scars. Over the years, I have realized that if you need success, being a narcissist is a crucial attribute. I now blame my unsuccessful life for the lack of narcissism in me. I used to believe that my work would speak for itself and people would recognize my efforts, I do not have to go down the road of narcissism, but people are busy being narcissists, talking and thinking only about themselves. It is not such a bad thing though, I have realized now. From now on, I am going to use 'narcissist' as a good self-focused person. Hope, with everyone's support, it catches on and Google gives out a better response to my narcissist search. It is high time Google evolves with the growing narcissism around. 

What image does the term create in your mind when you read Dark Days? For every person, I believe there would be different images moving like a slide show of all their worries and bad memories.  For me, it's the days with nothing—no happiness, worry, or sadness, just nothing. When nothing happens in your life, I believe that should be termed as Dark Days. Imagine sitting on a sofa, facing a window, looking out for inspiration or entertainment, or maybe just a smile from someone, and you get nothing. It is all there but your mind is focused on nothing. What would you do? You know it is not supposed to be this way, You are aware this is a deep ocean of emptiness and when you start peeping in, it is slowly sucking you inside but you can't help but sit in the corner of this ocean and put your feet to get comfortable. I do not have a solution to this, I will not put out a list that you can easily find by asking Alexa or Siri. But here, I am just stating that if you are sad, or worry...

 After some days of sleeping and mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, I am back to looking for a job—a remote one, for sure, or so I guess. Even when I am focusing on my dream, my mind still lingers around the money aspect. Very soon, the savings will end, and I need to refill them somehow. When I am about to click on the APPLY NOW button, my fingers shiver, and my mind shouts- NO. I am trying to be positive and hope not to turn completely insane in this process of figuring. In my head, I just want to sit and scream... Deva re... (Oh God). This is an easy way to include God and push him to create a path, just for me. I am a believer, but is it fair to just dream and pray for some magic? Well, I can do hard work, but where to do the hard work? One thing, I can say for sure now is whenever I am involved in any kind of corporate job, I feel I am living less, I feel less alive, and there is a hole in my stomach, getting bigger and bigger when I am working. As soon as I leave the job...

 Welcome to the journey of my transformation or whatever. I am not sure what to name it. It is been four months now since I left my corporate job and officially became a dreamer. I am 32 years old and trying to figure out LIFE. That's about my intro these days The question that keeps haunting my dreams is "Paise kaise aayenge??", a simple hindi 'How will money pour in?'. Why I am writing a blog? No idea. May be "Paise yahase aayenge" (This Blog will bring in money) !! Oh well, anyways, I will try to document my journey here.  My dreams and how I achieved it or fell straight on my face.